I was not a very confident person from my childhood. I lost my father when I was twelve .We moved to my mother’s homeland.I’m calling it my mother’s, I could not quite understand the difference then. I tried to get admission in an English medium school ,I was unable ,they had up to a certain grade,I was past it. My brother hired a private tutor for me, I did not like the arrangement,I said I could do without one. I studied at home,my big sister gave up, to her I wasn’t spending much time studying. She regularly gave me assignments which I finished in a few minutes. My elder brother and sister assumed,I was not the material for higher studies,therefore they’ll marry me off to some farmer, where I would be a proper fit.I’d be able to tend his cattle and what have you. It hardly scared me,yes my father passed away at a very young age and it put me in the mercy of my siblings. I did not devote time for studies any longer than usual. In my mind I knew God will not be unfair with me.
I finished school exams privately. I finished college and university successfully. My siblings’ desire to marry me off to a farmer did not materialize. Then came the challenge,I had applied for a scholarship to study B.Ed. I was never serious in my studies,but pulled through successfully. Applying for a scholarship was indeed a bold attempt on my part. I always gave myself a chance.It certainly did not mean I’d get it. The arrival of the man in uniform gave me hope, it meant I have an interview.Delighted I went for the interview,the way they were asking questions gave me confidence they like me. Surprise,surprise dear siblings ,I got the scholarship.
The next step was two years later I applied for another scholarship to study in London, England. I did not tell my brother or the big sister.I knew they’d make fun of me. Amazingly enough I was selected for an interview,this time I was terrified,all these big shots would ask me questions and my confidence level was an all time low. One of the things I did was not to look at any one of them There were seven of them,I never saw them in my life. I thought perhaps they were thinking I am a crazy fool to apply for this particular scholarship. My motto was how will I know how capable they think I am if I do not make an effort to prove myself. So these were the two occasions when I tasted success and I was delighted. I didn’t think I stood a chance, but it seems I was an all right candidate.
When I look back I am happy that I didn’t exert too much pressure on myself. Everything turned out well for me,the best part is my brother wasn’t able to marry me off to some farmer to look after his cattle and sheep!