Whenever there are moments I have the leisure of sitting down, I think about me. What I have accomplished.What I missed. The people I’ve met, sincere and not. My life as a whole.
I studied as much as I could given the resources I had. There was one degree I wanted to get. Some how it didn’t happen. I had all the prerequisites needed to get in,I was even selected three times. Each time there was a different reason.
When I first received a letter of acceptance for the M.Ed. course I was excited. I had taken a teaching job only few months ago. I thought no problem ,I’d resign, unfortunately my resignation was not accepted. I was in my early twenties, I thought I’ll try next year.The following year I applied and was accepted,this time I couldn’t go because I received a scholarship to study in London. I was waiting for this miracle to happen. I postponed studying M.Ed. for next year.
I was again selected to study the third time, but missed it. I was married. I couldn’t try any more . I moved out of the country to join my husband.
When I think about how many times I tried and how the circumstances were never in my favor, I take solace in thinking maybe I was never meant to do that course.
I consider myself lucky for getting the chance to go for higher studies and come out successful.
I hear about ‘Sweet Sixteen often. I didn’t get the pleasure of celebrating it. It came and went like any other day in the calendar. When I think hard,I remember I was in college. Mom received a letter from one of my brothers, my second eldest brother was critically ill. Mom had the letter in her hand crying a river. I’d have to go to Chittagong ASAP to look after him. Was there anyone else with him,I know you’d think? My eldest brother, his cranky wife and did I forget, my sister who considered herself a princess would probably had no time to look after the brother.
Who would be shipped there but little old me? I should feel good at the thought, Mom didn’t trust them . Here’s the problem I was acting as a nurse for my brother,I’d assume this was the reason for me to be there. Then the cranky one would bellow as if I was taking away her freedom.
After a few days of helping my brother, I suddenly overheard the princess telling the other siblings, I was there because I wanted to skip school. I get it they do not require my services any longer. Is this the way to show gratitude? Well I don’t know how anyone else would react,I packed my bag in a jiffy and was out the door, the princess was inwardly pleased but stopped me and said, “Ranu where are you going? My reply was I’ve heard your voice which is enough for me to leave.
This was my “Sweet Sixteen story, I bet you’re surprised !
Last time I broke a rule was in college. We didn’t mean to but circumstances made us do it. There were four of us, we got permission from our teacher to watch a movie in the movie hall. The condition was we had to have a chaperone with us. My classmate said her aunt would go with us. We were ready and waiting for the aunt to show up. After almost an hour my classmate got a note saying the aunt was unable to go.
Since we were ready and waiting by the college gate we made up our mind to go. We were not sure of one of the girls who was unpredictable. We clearly told her we’d be going without the aunt,if it was okay with her. She promised it was.
We set off on the assumption that things would work out.It was a very hot day,we waited for an auto rickshaw,and got one after walking a few yards. We reached the movie hall,got our tickets, and sat down to watch the movie. Everything went well. We came back happy we managed to watch the movie without the aunt.
Back in our dormitory we found the unpredictable girl restless. We asked her,what was wrong. She said nothing. We went about doing our work. Suddenly one of us was called by the teacher. We didn’t know why. Soon we found out the said girl went and told the teacher we’d gone without a chaperone. We were summoned one at a time and chastised for breaking college rules.
Then she told us to assemble in the auditorium. Sister Joseph Mary was livid. She said everything she could think of. She praised the girl for being honest. We were angry.We were not in trouble,but we learned an important lesson,not to trust the girl anymore!