Writing 101 Day Eight: Death to Adverbs

Today’s Prompt : Go to a local cafe, park or public place and write a piece inspired by something you see. Get detailed : leave no nuance behind.

Thoughtful writers create meaning by choosing precise words to create vivid pictures in the reader’s mind. As you strive to create strong imagery, show your reader’s what’s going on;avoid telling them.

Today’s Twist: Write an adverb free post.

My daughter dropped me off in  front of the mall, I walked in and looked around. I watched as a sales girl scooped tea leaves into a canister for a customer at the David’s Tea; I did not stop but continued walking.   I headed to the second floor to find a spot in the food court where I could sit and observe, but the place was full.

I went down to the lower level and found a small coffee shop where I could write my prompt.  Ahead of me in the line was a family: a father with baby in the pram and a bouncy toddler skipping her way in.   The little girl turned around and let her father know what she wanted.  Exhausted with the extra pressure of taking care of two little ones, he pointed to the seats and bid the toddler to sit down, while he got the food.

I watched with amusement as the frazzled man tended to his kids, then it was my turn to order.  The girl behind the counter looked at me and smiled, “What would you like?”

I answered at once  “A  small Cappuccino and a  cookie.”

She nodded and started to prepare my order, motioning me to the girl at the cash register.

I waited for my coffee as the father and his daughters walked out with their food.

Minutes later,  with my small cappuccino and cookie in hand, I spotted a corner in the shop to sit down. I dashed towards it, made myself comfortable, opened my book and scribbled some notes.

I took two sips of the cappuccino but found it too hot and tasteless. I did not want to drink it anymore, so I trashed it and left the coffee shop.

I remembered that I needed some hand towels, so I headed towards the Winners department store. I picked up three towels, paid the cashier, and since I had nothing else to do I left the mall.  I darted across the parking lot to the bus stop , arriving within seconds of my bus.  I waited for its passengers to get off and then hopped on and into the front seat.

Hi , I’d appreciate some feedback please.

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8 thoughts on “Writing 101 Day Eight: Death to Adverbs

  1. Dear Ranu,

    Thank you for sharing this post. A post without adverbs? How challenging!

    Great job!

    All good wishes,

    robert

  2. My dearest sister,

    This post made a specially interesting reading for me, since I am much fond of coffee shops and a frequent visitor to some in my town. I am sorry to hear that you did not like the coffee that was offered in this shop but it’s good to see that the visit was still not wasted because you could scribble your notes and come up with this very interesting post 🙂

    Writing without adverbs is an intriguing thought. We can see that this compulsion can make us dart to the busy stop instead of walking briskly :). I think that this piece was very well-written even without adverbs.

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