In response to WordPress daily post’s Prompt : Liminal
After reviewing the various synonyms of liminal, I came to the conclusion that liminal frontier of experience is probably the best synonym I can try to write about.
One of the meanings tells us liminal frontier of experience is a potent threshold of a personal transformation in which our survival and ongoing quality of life is fully dependent upon our capacity for creative adaptation.
The experience I had after I got married fits one of the meanings of the word, i.e, “A liminal frontier of experience.”
Mine was an arranged marriage I didn’t know my husband or his other siblings and his parents. I saw them after I was married.
My husband left to go to Montreal, less than two weeks after our wedding. He told me he’d like me to stay with his parents at least for six months in their village home. I agreed. I went to their village with my in-laws.
The only mode of transportation to get to the village was by a rowboat. I’d never traveled anywhere in a rowboat, so it was quite a frightening experience for me. When I reached my in-law’s home, there were people coming in droves to see me the(new bride).
I had no privacy the people of the village came and went as they pleased. I was worried I didn’t expect all this, still I put up a brave and friendly face.
Days and weeks were passing by, I had nothing to do, before all this I was teaching in a school in Dhaka Cantonment. I was told to quit my job, because I’d have to stay with my in-laws in the village.
I had nothing in common with them except the language, my parents were from Bangladesh as were my in-laws.
I grew up in a city away from Bangladesh where Punjabi and Urdu were spoken by all our neighbors, including the shopkeepers etc.
I studied in a convent, my Dad thought it was the best school in the city.This is a bit about my background.
I felt the time in the village was long, there was not a soul I could talk to. I did my best to get used to the situation I was in.
I tried several times to help my mother-in -law in the kitchen, she refused to let me help her, she thought the kitchen was too small and they used to burn wood which created a lot of smoke, she told me to go to the main house and relax.
One afternoon after the table was set for lunch, someone asked me to serve the food to everyone. I was about to get up when my mother-in-law said to me, ‘no no you sit down.’
She asked someone else to serve the food, I sat down, suddenly one of their maids said, ‘The bride can’t even serve the cooked food?’
I was surprised and angry when I heard that. I stayed quiet took it all in and waited for the day I’d be able to tell my husband, ‘You have some ill-mannered maids where did you get them from?’
I did that long after this incident, my husband smiled and said,’She’s been with us for years, we treat her as a relative.’
I had to make a lot of adjustments making sure, they’d have nothing to complain about me.
Whether I was successful in my new role of a village housewife is hard to know. I can only say I kept my temper in check!