In response to daily post’s prompt : Doubt
My years as a teenager and later an adult not a day passed when I was not in doubt of something. Before any exam I’d hold on to the question paper and after reading all the questions, I’d fear that none of the questions asked I’d be able to answer.
Slowly I’d sit straight and tell myself, ‘I studied the subject, why does it appear I never saw these words. Then my inner self would wake me up and whisper, ‘Ranu you have three hours to answer six questions, start writing, do not hand over your empty booklet, because if you fail, your older brother will marry you off to a farmer, you’ll be stuck in a village and cry day and night.’
Was this a warning? I knew because Dad passed away, my brother would really do this awful thing to me, and Mom would say nothing. I managed to write my exams, I had no clue what the result would be and added to this was my lack of confidence.
Two days before the results came out, I’d start praying asking God to please help me pass, I don’t remember this but I must have promised I’ll study harder for my next exam. God probably thought, ‘this is what humans do, they pray to get out of trouble and when they are successful, they forget the promise and go back to their laziness.’