365 Days: Pants on Fire

What was the last lie I told?

Why did I tell it?

It is difficult sometimes to answer questions our friends ask us. I was caught in this snare by one of my long time good friend.

I was asked if my daughter number two and number three call me, visit me or send Mother’s Day card. In my case these are very painful questions. I didn’t have the courage to tell the truth. I answered yes.

I questioned myself why did I do it? I was protecting myself, because my truth will for eons come to bite me. I thought these friends will think perhaps I’m a terrible mother. It hurt me immensely.

I was a full time teacher, yet I felt guilty leaving them with a baby sitter. I tried to give them as much time as I could. I’m unable to express what went wrong.

Then one day I told these same friends, no my two daughters do not call me or send me Mother’s day cards. I have learned to accept this fact.

These days I console myself by agreeing with Khalil Gibran where he says: your children do not belong to you, if they leave you let them, if they never come back, do not be sad, they were not yours to begin with.


4 thoughts on “365 Days: Pants on Fire

  1. I hope your daughters return in a positive way. I don’t quite understand the attitude, but I’ve known families with children who stay away and then come back. Self-protection is important. It was brave of you to tell your friends how it really is.

    • Thank you Clouch. You probably watched how children are spoilt, when they get too much attention. I watched my mom how she raised us, went to a convent where the motto was spare the rod spoil the child. It helped me how to deal with children in my career, but my third one was not so easy to deal with. My husband who was the eldest in his family thought he knew more than I did. As a result we created a monster.
      Second one went to a university where most of the students were upstarts, she picked it up and thought it was the best way to be. Her change was unbelievable. To her, parents meant money, as long as she could use us, she was happy.
      I’m glad at least my eldest stayed away from her wicked sisters.
      Khalil Gibran’s advice consoled me.

  2. Yes, Gibran’s words are prudent. My sister’s daughter left the family for a while, I mean a number of years, to live with a boyfriend and his family. I don’t know why his family went along with this. Eventually, she realized she had been conditioned or brainwashed, and she returned to her family. Another family I know, in addition to yours, is going through this now. This is difficult and sad.

    • Thank you so much for this. I couldn’t have done any more than what I did. If they are happy, I have nothing to complain. It’s the people around me who are too curious. šŸ™‚

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