365 days : Childlike

My Biggest Regret

Before I talk about my regrets, I’d like to write that I had a mother, who constantly reminded me that lying is the most serious sin in God’s eyes. I’ll never be forgiven if I take this route. However it’s only forgiven if my life is in danger.

Now I’m ready to write about my regrets. I got a job in a residential school when I was twenty three. Before this I taught for eleven months in a school in my town. My friend advised me to teach in the big city. I was interested and had a long interview with the Principal. I had no idea what sort of a man he was. It didn’t take long to find out. I watched him scolding the teachers in the presence of the little kids.

I realized if the head of an institution is nasty to the teachers, then it was impossible to teach in an atmosphere like that. It was an all boys school, and these children came from wealthy parents, therefore if they hear their principal humiliating the teachers, they’ll have no respect for them.

Ten days later I told myself it’s time I took some action. I decided to resign. I took my letter and handed it to the principal. He read it a few times and asked, ‘Is this a resignation letter?’

I said ‘yes.’

‘Why do you want to resign after only ten days?’

Instead of telling him, ‘I do not like it here,”

I should have said, ‘You insult the teachers in the children’s presence and I find it objectionable.’

I regret I didn’t stand up to him and told the truth. I ended up teaching for two years and three months in the above school. I also missed my chance of studying M.ED. which was always my dream.

I taught in other schools which I liked.

I met several personalities good and others who liked to criticize me. I knew what they were up to, they wanted to make me miserable. I’m not sure what benefit they got from it, other than exposing their evil nature.

I’ve regretted so many things that happened to me. They’re countless and I did not deserve any of it.

So I end with Joni Mitchell’s words:

“I’ve looked at life from both sides now

From win and lose and still somehow

It’s life’s illusions I recall,

I really don’t know life at all!”

……………………………………………………………………………..:)

6 thoughts on “365 days : Childlike

  1. I made a decision a very long time ago that I would refuse to regret anything. I may wish I’d taken a different decision, said a different thing, done something another way, but regret is a completely wasted emotion. It cannot change anything, cannot take away a hurt, cannot alter what happened. Smile and give a hug. That is far more effective than regret.

  2. Dear Ranu,

    Thank you for this. I always enjoy reading about how you’ve contributed (and still are) to a better world, overcoming so many challenges.

    All good wishes,

    robert

  3. I agree with Robert. I think you were an excellent teacher to those pupils who saw how someone should behave. I also know you are an excellent person and am grateful for who you are.

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