365 days : Childlike

My Biggest Regret

Before I talk about my regrets, I’d like to write that I had a mother, who constantly reminded me that lying is the most serious sin in God’s eyes. I’ll never be forgiven if I take this route. However it’s only forgiven if my life is in danger.

Now I’m ready to write about my regrets. I got a job in a residential school when I was twenty three. Before this I taught for eleven months in a school in my town. My friend advised me to teach in the big city. I was interested and had a long interview with the Principal. I had no idea what sort of a man he was. It didn’t take long to find out. I watched him scolding the teachers in the presence of the little kids.

I realized if the head of an institution is nasty to the teachers, then it was impossible to teach in an atmosphere like that. It was an all boys school, and these children came from wealthy parents, therefore if they hear their principal humiliating the teachers, they’ll have no respect for them.

Ten days later I told myself it’s time I took some action. I decided to resign. I took my letter and handed it to the principal. He read it a few times and asked, ‘Is this a resignation letter?’

I said ‘yes.’

‘Why do you want to resign after only ten days?’

Instead of telling him, ‘I do not like it here,”

I should have said, ‘You insult the teachers in the children’s presence and I find it objectionable.’

I regret I didn’t stand up to him and told the truth. I ended up teaching for two years and three months in the above school. I also missed my chance of studying M.ED. which was always my dream.

I taught in other schools which I liked.

I met several personalities good and others who liked to criticize me. I knew what they were up to, they wanted to make me miserable. I’m not sure what benefit they got from it, other than exposing their evil nature.

I’ve regretted so many things that happened to me. They’re countless and I did not deserve any of it.

So I end with Joni Mitchell’s words:

“I’ve looked at life from both sides now

From win and lose and still somehow

It’s life’s illusions I recall,

I really don’t know life at all!”

……………………………………………………………………………..:)

365 days: A little Sneaky?

Writing Prompts, sneaky?

No not at all. I find WordPress prompts very useful. I do not think it’s limiting either. We are given either one word prompt or a sentence. For me it opens the door to write whatever I want.

It’s up to me to use the prompt anyway I want. A little sneaky? Reminds me of current and past politicians. Some will try to take advantage of the position they get. Some build up their wealth, while showing their opponents as ones who will destroy the country if we the voters make the mistake of voting for his opponent.

These words should give us the signal that this guy is dangerous. But we’re so gullible we believe everything they say and keep listening and voting for him/her.

I’m not a politician and I disliked politics since I was fourteen. I know of one who after getting elected ordered a brand new car from abroad. While he’s dreaming of his shiny car, there are millions of people in his country who are starving to death.

Then another who went to a country and presented himself as a billionaire, who was ready to change the acres of a land to a paradise, where there will be thousands of jobs. Did he fool the government? Yes, imagine someone a stranger no less was able to convince a foreign government that one of its citizen is plotting against him.

It gets better the guy who was a citizen was imprisoned by his own government. When I heard it I thought, what a con man!

I have my own experience of meeting such a man. Here it is: On a bright sunny morning, there was a knock on our door. I opened the door to a stranger, as I was about to close the door, he recited a vey important verse from our religion. Mom heard it and yelled; Ranu let him in. I did.

He started by telling my mom that my eldest sister is like a beautiful flower in the garden. Mom was impressed, she invited him to take a seat. He started telling her, he felt sad to see a widow at such a young age, that he knew how to make her wealthy.

My mom and my sister were convinced, that this is some Angel who was going to make mom rich in a jiffy.

I wasn’t convinced, my mom told me to be quiet and stop making any kind of negative comment. I watched her going back and forth from the living room to the bedroom. She took out a handful of cash to give this guy.

When he collected enough money, he pointed at a corner of the living room, he said: He can see a lot of cash under it. She should break the cement where she’ll find a lot of money.

He also warned her not to look back when he leaves. I don’t know what it meant. He promised her he’d come back to see her, but she won’t recognize him.

When he left, I told my mom, ‘he deceived you, he will never come back.’

I was right we never saw that con man. 🙂

Be warned a crooked politician is a little sneaky when he spends most of his time putting down his opponent. Ask yourself what has he done for his country anything or Nothing! 😦

365 days: Come once more dear friend(third line of the last song)

Come Once More Dear Friend

Let us talk about the past,

the good old days,

when we laughed and sang

Remember,

when our history prof. asked,

who copied whom?

I looked at you in awe,

You copied my tutorial word for word,

although you said you’ll only check,

how I wrote mine and you promised,

you won’t copy.

I forgave you because,

friends don’t tattle about each other.

Remember the time your sister,

sent cooked beef for us,

the matron asked what it is,

we just laughed.

we didn’t want to tell,

it was beef,

for in her religion they,

do not eat beef.

All those days, months and years,

Passed like a hurricane,

now I live so far away,

I wonder shall we ever,

see each other again?

…………………………:)

The title is the lyrics from the third line of one of Tagore’s song.

365 days: Funny ha.. ha

I don’t know if I consider myself funny. I have from time to time tried to entertain the kids I taught in school. When I felt the kids were dozing off, listening to some of the boring texts I had to explain. I’d watch the kids yawn. In my mind it hardly works if I yelled and said, ‘stop yawning,’ they’d sit up and then were back doing the same thing.

If I said something funny, I’d hear one kid’s soft laugh, then the next and the next, pretty soon all the kids were roaring with laughter. Minutes later I find my trick worked. Everyone sits straight, the kids are very much awake and ready to hear the rest of my sermon.

I did have my favourite comedians, Abbott and Costello, one was bulky, the other one the opposite. Sometimes their appearance on TV, made me laugh, there was such a contrast in their way of speaking and their figure. It was hard not to laugh.

Here they are:

Abbott and Costello

………………………………:)

365 days: Off Limits

This is a quote by Charlie Chaplin: A day without laughter is a day wasted.

I agree laughter is the best medicine for us. There are times in our lives when laughter does not heal a bereaved soul.

One sunny day in summer, I watched my father dying. I did not understand what was happening, I saw mom crying and praying, my older siblings were speechless.

The only voice I heard was the doctor’s, ‘I do not take money from a dead man.’

The next few days were unbearable. One of my older siblings fainted each time we mentioned the word Dad. He could not sleep for days. Mom told him to recite the Arabic sentence, ” Bismillah ar Rahman ar Rahim.”( In the name of God, the Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.)He repeated these words daily, to help him sleep.

I recall spending days wondering what will happen to us. Fun and laughter seemed to desert us forever.

It took a while for us to return to normal life. When Dad passed away I was twelve years old, it was a time when death did not enter my vocabulary. I always felt what I saw is not true, dad will come back.

When I think of this incident today I’m surprised how we carried on all these years without the most important person in our life.

These days I watch TV, and laugh, at the stupidity of some people, “Making mountains out of Molehills.”

…………………………………………..:)

What Did I Want To Be When I grew Up?

When I Was Ten I had no ambition of becoming a ballerina, fireman, astronaut or a movie star

When I was Ten years old the thought; what I wanted to be when I grew up never cross my mind. Day in and out I was either in school or doing never ending homework.

I was already busy thinking, how much homework will I get next day. My mind was overcrowded with schoolwork. To make matters worse my Dad’s motto was, ‘my children should not be exposed to radio, or they’ll never study.’

The only time I heard songs was when someone’s daughter or son was getting married in our neighbourhood. The loudspeakers were on full blast, it was an exciting time. I learned a lot of songs of Hindi movies.

When I was twelve my Dad passed away. We moved from Rawalpindi to Comilla Bangladesh. I still heard songs when there was a wedding in our neck of the woods. I showed an inclination to learn singing. My mom felt the same as my Dad. My wish died before it could flower.

I had no choice but to put my thoughts in studying those hard covered heavy books. When I reached a high enough ladder, my mind told me, with this qualification teaching would be the most appropriate thing to do. But wait a minute I said, ‘isn’t one of the prerequisite a degree in education?’

‘Yup thanks dear mind I told quietly.’ I proceeded to finish this last ladder of my ambition.

After I achieved what I needed I had no excuse but join the teaching department.

Now I’m living happily, don’t you think my good friends?

…………………………………:)

365 days: an epic poem

Goodbye dear Delhi

A to Z

All you children wake up we’ll leave today,

Bags packed before clouds darken sun’s ray.

Cautiously mom completes her cooking,

Danger seems imminent as we were looking.

Evil sights were visible at our front door,

Friends called out, you can’t wait anymore.

Goodbye dear Delhi we softly whispered,

Hey loot this house , man in bicycle uttered.

I was terrified thinking they’ll kill us,

Just like statues we showed no emotion,

Karma can’t be the reason for our condition.

Lord knows how far is my Dad’s office,

Man is making us suffer we have no choice.

Never did we dream one day we’ll be outsiders,

O creatures of God our feet are sore with blisters.

Please let us rest and allow us to hire some taxis,

Quietly we’ll leave this place it’s our promise.

Rest assured we will have good memories of Delhi,

Sadly we’ll leave our abode of several years,

To those who will replace us to you our cheers.

Unable we are to welcome what’s waiting for us,

Vast open land will separate us from our city.

Woe to those who are responsible for this break,

Xylophone alone will never cure our heartache.

Year will pass, nothing will standstill we know,

Zip your tongue mom says and let us go!

365 days, WordPress Prompt:

There’s no place like home: If I had the opportunity to live a nomadic life, travelling from place to place, would I do it?

I like travelling, I don’t have the kind of temperament one needs to live a nomadic life. I love my family too much. I need a home base. Any place is home to me if I have my family with me.

I had the experience of living in a hostel for continuing my education. I had a hard time dealing with it. I ended up visiting my local guardian every week. I was six hours away by train from my siblings. I felt my local guardian understood the fact I missed my mom and siblings, although he could not fill the gap in my heart, he was able to console me by talking about his friendship with my family, which helped me.

As a student I was ambitious, in my mind I was satisfied with whatever I achieved. I could not continue to live away from my loved ones. I think I’m incapable of living a nomadic life.

365 days, July 6th : Tables turned

A story of opposites

It’s a story of two sisters who were described by their friends as, Positive and Negative.

Their mom and dad could not understand why they were so different. They were surprised and thought it better not to interfere.

Melissa and Vanessa were two sisters. The former was a half a dozen years older than the latter.

Melissa was studious, liked wearing clothes that enhanced her beauty, she was social, loved going out with her friends.

Vanessa did not spend as much time with her studies as her sister, she had no interest in dressing up and only had one friend.

With so much Contrast the outsiders were sure the older sister was better and smarter.

Vanessa loved watching her mother cook, she spent as much time possible to learn to cook by watching.

One day her mother asked, ‘Melissa I’m inviting some friends, can you make some rasgullas( cheese balls in syrup)?’

‘Allright,’she said.

Vanessa overheard the conversation she was unhappy. ‘Mom,’ she said, ‘Can I make rasgullas (cheese balls) too?’

Mom realized she was wrong asking only Melissa’s help. To normalize the situation, she said, ‘Sure you can make them too, then we’ll see who makes the best dessert.’

The competition began both tried to please mom, but mom felt, she didn’t do the right thing by playing one against the other.

The day of the competition arrived, the cheese balls were floating in the respective sauce pans. They were covered, after cooking for forty minutes, both sisters turned off the stove and placed their dessert on two separate wooden board.

The guests entered, after a few minutes the girls got a serving dish and approached where the dessert was cooling. Melissa confidently opened the cover and screamed, ‘mine are broken.’

It was Vanessa’s turn to remove the cover of her saucepan, she was nervous, with shaking hands she lifted the cover, ‘WOW!’ she exclaimed, ‘mine are perfect.’

The tables turned the guests were in awe, one of them, ‘whispered, how can it be possible!’

…………………………………………. 😦

365 days, July 5th : Mirror

Mirror, mirror

When I look in the mirror, I think of my Dad, how he was troubled because my hair was never combed and I never applied cream on my face.

Dad at times complained and said to my Mom one day, ‘what’s wrong with our middle daughter, she doesn’t look after herself, she doesn’t comb her hair, she refuses to put cream on her face. She wasn’t raised in a village, even the village girls take care of themselves these days.’

When mom told me, I listened with one ear and released the words from the other. Just like the girl in the movie told her uncle, ‘This is why we have two ears one for listening and the other to get rid of words we don’t like.’

Now when I look in the mirror and see my hair combed, and my moist face. I think about my father, he’d probably say, ‘I’m proud of you Ma Ranu.’

It’s too bad I’m incapable of dragging back the years when my Dad was alive.

…………………………………..:(