It turns out that your neighbor on the plane/bus/train( or the person sitting at the next table at the coffee shop) is a very, very chatty tourist.Do you try to switch seats, go for a non-committal small talk, or make this person your new best friend?
On a plane sitting in the middle is very uncomfortable,the planes now a days have very little room to stretch your legs, so when I’m stuck in the middle it means I do not have the privilege of changing my seat,because no one wants to sit in the middle.
Then there is the problem of getting out of the middle because my neighbor finds it inconvenient to stand and let me go out of my seat,worst case scenario is when I come back the same passenger would have to get up to let me get to my middle seat.The inconvenience of sitting in the middle and a talkative neighbor on my side is something I try to avoid, I usually find a magazine and read the articles more than once to send a signal to my neighbor I am not in a mood to listen to whatever he/she is saying.
Since the neighbor is a stranger I won’t make small talk, I’ll probably watch the TV in front of me to let the neighbor know I am not friendly. I don’t think I’ll make friends with a completely unknown person.
Have you got a code you live by? What are the principles or set of values you actively apply in your life?
I’ve always liked the “Golden rule ,one should always treat others as one would like others to treat oneself.” Or one should not treat in ways that one would not like to be treated by others.
In psychology it involves a person empathizing with others, philosophically it involves a person perceiving their neighbor as an “I” or self. Sociologically it is applicable between individuals and groups in general.
In the 1670s it was known as the “Golden Law”. As a concept of ethic reciprocity it has its roots in a wide range of world cultures,it has a long history, and a number of prominent religious figures and philosophers believe in its ‘two way’ nature in various ways.
I believe a lot of unnecessary conflicts can either be stopped or resolved if we can follow this rule. No one can always be right all the time, we have to remember as human beings we make mistakes and it is a lot easier if we can make ourselves believe it.
I have some awesome neighbors. One we are very close to is an English Prof. We always hang out with each other. Christmas time she cooks and we have dinner together. Once I volunteered to cook the Turkey for Christmas dinner,she wouldn’t let me. She knows we don’t celebrate Christmas.
Whenever my daughter bakes I always remind her, aren’t you going to bake one for her. My daughter smiles and says.”yes Mom this is why I’m baking two.
She loves chocolate,when I go to the store and see something good I’d buy for her.
We got to know each other when she she bought the house across the street from us. On snow days when my daughter goes out to shovel , my neighbor would come out to give her a hand. We are blessed to have a neighbor like her.
According to Psychologists , “fear is a vital response to physical emotional danger—if we didn’t feel it, we couldn’t protect us from legitimate threats.”
My greatest fear is a barking dog. It was a while ago , when I was six,my sister gave me a note to deliver to her friend . I was happy to oblige her. It was early evening, I was almost close to the house, when I walked into the driveway,I noticed a few dogs in the veranda. I am not sure why I suddenly felt scared. I took slow steps,all the while thinking,’should I go or turn back’,the dogs probably sensed it, all of them jumped off the veranda and were coming towards me, they started barking , I was so terrified I began to run,the dogs came to the end of the driveway and stopped.
Fear Factor Live (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I walked home crying ,I told my sister, I’d never take her notes to her friends. Now whenever I see a dog I am scared. My neighbor knows it, she is very sweet ,she locks her dog in the bedroom, so I can visit her.