I wasn’t very optimistic about myself from a young age. I suppose losing a father at age twelve does that to some. I was the striking example of that.
To me hope was a far fetched thing. I’d try for things and always thought the outcome would be negative. I tried all the same with the idea I have nothing to lose. I won’t get what I want. I didn’t have any uncle or someone important who’d try to get me what I want. I did have uncles who could do it , but they told me from the start I’m on my own. No one helped them, this was the kind of attitude they had. I always stayed quiet and tried to achieve what I wanted.
I did have success in education. I’d try to study in a certain place ,with that intent I applied,I made sure no one knew it. I was truly surprised when I was successful.
When I was fourteen I wanted to study in England. I knew it was expensive. There was no one in my family who could bear the expenses. I thought about it frequently.
I took each day as it came.I never had too many high hopes for me. I went every year of studies wishing to continue the next and the next. To my pleasant surprise I successfully completed my masters degree. I then applied for admission in B.Ed., I was accepted but I didn’t like the place. I went back to Dhaka . I was disappointed I’d have to study in a place I didn’t like.
I found an Ad. in the newspaper about some scholarship offered by Punjab University. I applied but wasn’t sure I’d get it. It was not until then did I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I received a letter of interview on a certain day.I know an interview doesn’t mean anything is granted, but to be selected for one was awesome.
The interviewers were pleasant, they asked me a few questions. A few days later I received a letter I was awarded the scholarship.
I completed the degree and took a job in a school. I disliked the environment. The principal continuously yelled at the teachers, right in front of the kids. I was new and thought that’s it I am going to quit. Ten days later I submitted my resignation letter, it was not accepted. I had to teach for two years and three months , the thought of studying in England was still fresh on my mind. I saw another Ad. in the newspaper about British Council , offering scholarships to study in England. I jumped at the idea and applied for it. Then I thought there will be thousands of applicants for this opportunity to go to England. I didn’t think I’d be selected for an interview. To my dismay I got a letter of the interview date. They informed my school principal. He was not pleased he said,” You shouldn’t have applied.”
I told him, “it doesn’t mean I’d get the scholarship.”
I was surprised when he said,”yes you will.”
I got the scholarship and was happy my childhood dream was fulfilled!