Day Three : One-word inspiration: Regret
#everyday inspiration day three
Our lives wouldn’t be complete if we had no regret. How can it be we are humans, we are liable to make mistakes. When I was studying in the university I promised myself, I will help my siblings as much as I can, when I complete my studies and get a job.
The day came for me to fulfill my promise, I got a teaching job in a local school. I immediately sent money to my brother and sister through someone. I later found out they received the money but were not told who sent it. The person I trusted gave the money, but made them think she had given it.
When I found out I was sorry I did not send them the money directly. I knew the time had passed and my siblings would think I broke my promise.
I later learned no matter what I did for anyone, I wasn’t appreciated. Now I keep myself aloof and do things that make me happy.
I saw a stray kitten in the pet store recently, she resembled our previous feline, though she looked malnourished and sickly I decided I will adopt her. She now is a picture of health, when she looks at me , I feel she is saying, ‘Thank you for adopting me I am so happy here.’
At last I got the appreciation I was looking for, even though it’s from a tiny animal. I have no regrets about giving her a home.
Regrets? Yes I have some. I always feel that sometimes what I feel doesn’t always stay in my brain ,but I cannot wait to let it known the moment the thought enters my brain.
It doesn’t make me feel any better, as my conscience starts working full time, telling me it was a dumb thing to do.
When I was very young my older sister often ridiculed me in front of her friends. She’d question me where I was, she thought if she constantly reminded me I do not study enough, like her I’d sit with a book 24/7. I was never one to hide behind a book, I did my own thing I played, watched my mother cook, I sat with my dad and asked all sorts of questions about anything that came to mind.
My sister would sit with her books all day.Now that I think about it , she didn’t really study all the time,she certainly wanted to impress my Dad.
One day as usual she started criticizing about my study habits, I was fifteen at that time, she had already completed her masters degree, when she wouldn’t keep quiet, I said,”One day I’d also get my masters degree and when that happens ,no one will ask a few years later what class each of us got to make a comparison, they’d only say,good for you Ranu, you also got the degree we are proud of you.”
She was so surprised she could not say another word. Did I regret for being so bold, I did not, I was proud of myself for finally telling her off!
I regret about a lot of things. It started from a very young age. One evening my Dad saw me writing something.He asked me ,”Are you doing your Homework,Ma? I said, “no Dad ,this is my friend’s work, she wants me to finish it for her,” he was quiet for a few seconds,then he looked at me and said, ” this will be the last time I’ll tell you , you must never let your friends take advantage of you!”
At that time I knew what he meant. I never was able to follow his advice.People still take advantage of me.
When I was ten,I wanted to be none of the above. I did not dream of becoming anything. I was a kid.I loved to play with my siblings at home and my friends in school. You can say my dreams were all about having a good time. During the holidays,I spent time walking around the neighborhood, and playing in the park close by . This was how I spent my early childhood.
Then came the most tragic day of my life.I lost my father,I was twelve years old. Becoming anybody was far away from my thoughts. We left our cozy and comfortable home,and embarked on a journey to a place,which was entirely strange to us. It took us a while to get used to it.
Then came the ordeal of finding a school, to suit my needs. Things started to fall in place.I finished high school. I studied in the local college for two years.I was discontented. I showed it in no uncertain terms. My wish was granted.I took admission in a college,run by American Nuns.
I completed my undergraduate degree successfully.Then it was time to think of trying my luck in the university. I had a mind to study Economics,I couldn’t. My dictator sister gave me all the reasons why It is a bad idea. I ended up studying History. Suddenly I started thinking of a teaching profession. I began working towards achieving this goal.
I completed my Master’s degree. I was becoming ambitious to earn an education degree. I was successful. Despite the fact I had six older siblings, I got no help from them regarding my career.I did the thinking on my own. Whether my decision was right or wrong I could not tell.As time went on I got a teaching job. I loved the kids I taught. I was happy I chose to teach young children.
I became a teacher.I loved every moment of it. I did not decide at age 10, which direction I should take. I do not regret my decision to be a teacher.